bullfight

Bits and pieces

I think Jon Stewart said it best...  While it's extremely disheartening to see thousands and thousands lined up outside Chick-fil-a's to oppose gay marriage, at least the gay marriage ball is still rolling, and they'll all get Type 2 Diabetes.

Had fun figuring out the "I've got a Hangover" song on the violin.  It's a really catchy song, and could be a crowd-pleaser if I ever play the violin in front of people before that song leaves the Top 40 list. 

I burnt my shoulders, arms, and neck to crispy, painful red death while we were hiking out in the open pine barrens areas looking for Spiranthes lacera.  We didn't even find any on Sunday, though we did in a morning hike today.  They were much smaller than I was expecting--I was thinking, despite having read otherwise in the guidebook--that it would be as tall as Spiranthes laciniata.  Reading heights and sizes doesn't inform me very well--I do much better comparing plants to ones that I've seen before, or knowing what i'm looking for from having seen that species before.  My ankles are completely covered in chigger bites... So. Very. Itchy.  Agh.

The new job had been sucking pretty badly mostly because training was overwhelming, but it took a sharp turn for the better today, so that was a relief. 

Looking forward to visiting the family later this week, and (unrelated) giving Lady O her birthday present.  =)
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful
smiley cat

Vignettes.

I watched Toy Story 3 a week or two ago, and despite being the weepy sort, I didn't cry at the ending like so many people warned I would.  Perhaps I had a hard time feeling emotionally connected to plastic toys?  I DID notice (go figure) that all the lead female toy characters were emphatically NOT left single by the end of the movie, and presumably the end of the storyline overall.  This is in contrast to the many male toy characters left happily single and in comradeship with one another...

I've found someone to jam with on the violin.  He plays ukelele, a mini-one-foot-drumset, and sings.  He also has friends who play the harmonica and the banjo and so forth.  Al I have to do is grow the balls to try and play in front of other people despite being not-good.  There's a very good chance playing with this guy will help me improve exponentially though.  I've been doing a lot of drills lately, and it's been helping me noticeably improve--there's a lot of drills still to come, though, and they're just in first position.  As my left hand improves, I've been trying to push my right arm into better bowing in terms of posture, pressure, hair tension, and so forth.

As of today we've harvested nearly 50 pounds of produce from the gardens, and there's a LOT more to come... Today was the first time we'd gathered radicchio, cucumbers, and wax beans. 
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful
womaninme

Nostalgia

I remember what it feels like to be
touched by you.
Your hands on my body
your eyes meeting mine
our mouths touching.
Now we dance in careful revolutions
around a carefully overdescribed
personal bubble of space
with occasional uncomfortable transgressions.
I'm desperately alone in my yearning for
the physicality of your love and affection.
In orbit around your independence
and the space of our planned estrangement.
I cannot reach escape velocity.
Forever pacing, circling, treading the path
on the other side of your determined walls.
When the longing overcomes all sense of reality
and dignity
I bump up into your space
and am set afire in shame
by your studied indifference.
I swear I will leave.
I swear...
I...



I still love you.
  • Current Mood
    nostalgic nostalgic
beachedwoman

I feel squashed.

I did not get the library job.  I can't help feeling like being an awkward person who couldn't meet the eyes of the interviewer probably had a lot to do with it.  I don't know, maybe I'm completely off the mark here, blaming everything on my eyes, I just feel so pained and irritated by them all the time, and I'm so hyperaware of how much things like eye contact and not flinching and squinting in apparent anger/stress (which is what my eye pain makes my face look like) really matters according to psych and business research.  I'm scheduling the first surgery the second I find out if the credit line I've secured for medical stuff is interest free. 

I might schedule it anyway, since it's so obviously not optional for me. 

In other news I found the ring I'd lost like a day after I got it--it had fallen off my finger in my sock drawer.

I got a new plant--a variegated Phal with gorgeous purple striped flowers.  I am surrounded by pretty flowers, and especially flower spikes that will be flowering soon.  The garden is full of delicious vegetables, and I have amazing people in my life.  Health and a job should be just around the corner.   

EDIT:  Oh yeah!  Since I can't figure out how to chart all the info I want to track, with pictures, of my plants, I'm working on (finally) making my own webpage.  We'll see how that goes =)  Mike promised me space on his server years and years ago, so I think I'll finally take him up on that.
  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy
womaninme

On Employment and Unemployment

How many completed to-do lists
does it take
to justify existence when you're unemployed?
How many resumes mailed and
interviews attended before
it's okay to be young and unemployed
in 21st century America?
The land of opportunity.

smalldeath

On thinking and drinking

What happens if I just write?  Does what I'm thinking really come out on paper, or is the meta-awareness too strong to not dilute the stream-of-consciousness writing?  How much whiskey before hidden thoughts articulate themselves, and how much more before they are obscured once more, this time through a blanket of intoxication?  If a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts, why don't we intoxicate suspects before putting them on the witness stand?  Do we have a right to have inner thoughts, or are those what make up our inner selves, always in the plural?  What does it mean to think contradicting thoughts simultaneously?  Or is it merely vacillation occurring in infinitesimal spaces of time, like light is both particle and wave?  My mind is both brain and spirit, animating spirit, animated as I sit and listen to music and drink scotch and cautiously tap on the door of my inner sanctum, uncertain which I find more frightening:  the presence of an unrestrained Hobbesian beast-of-a-man, or the pressure-filled silence of emptiness.
  • Current Mood
    indifferent intoxicated
smiley cat

Scattered Research Post

Recently I read Cundall, M.K., Jr.  (2007).  Humor and the limits of incongruity.  Creativity Research Journal 19(2-3), 203-211, in which the author argues that the incongruity theory of humor fails to account for context. 
I also read Sloane, S., Bailargeon, R., and Premack, D.  (2012).  Do infants have a sense of humor?  Psychological Science 23(2), 196-204, in which the authors demonstrate very carefully that 19-month-olds and 21-month-olds have a pretty nuanced sense of distributional fairness, despite literature showing they, themselves, will act selfishly. 
I also read Ealgeton, T.  (2011).  Was Marx right?  It's not too late to ask.  Commonweal, April 8, 2011.  In this article, the author points out that the apparent silence of Marxists from the 1980s forward was not due to the incredible success of neoliberal capitalism, but instead due to the incredible difficulty of attacking it.  She calls to attention Marx's continued relevance, reminds us that Marx never thought Russia (and other failed communist states) would turn socialist (and instead had hopes for Germany) and that his theories assumed a further economic development than those countries that attempted to turn socialist had, points out that the goal of political radicals is to advance society to a point where political radicals become unnecessary (because their goals would be fulfilled), says that because Marxism is a critique of capitalism, as long as capitalism exists, so will Marxism, and lastly points out that Marx accounted for change in capitalism in his theories, so change in capitalism doesn't discount his ideas. 
  • Current Mood
    energetic intoxicated